Lost in chaos

The beginning of the new week couldn’t have started more chaotic than it did. I can barely tell where my weekend transitioned into the new week.

Here’s a recap of some events leading to this moment of writing my post:

  • Period started 5 days early
  • No hot water for hours, so I ended up showering at my friend’s house
  • Ran my entire weekend on a handful hours of sleep and was mildly hallucinating by Sunday evening
  • Upset a friend because I keep turning down his attempts to give me gifts for the holidays and ended up making a list of knitting supplies for him so he has something to buy me (this is actually a good thing!)
  • Had a bad dream where my boyfriend cheated on me that reduced my sleeping hours by too much again
  • Boyfriend has no charge in his battery left so I don’t even get to say good morning to him today which does little to reduce the nastiness of that dream
  • It’s 10am and it feels like it’s 7pm tonight already, I’m completely disoriented
  • I’m incredibly nauseated every time I eat food or drink any type of beverage
  • I’m constantly hungry because I can’t eat properly
  • I ate a mandarin orange that barely went down and I’m now even more hungry
  • I get frequent dizzy spells that make it more difficult to eat

I think my nausea comes primarily from my depression. Last week has been so rough on my head my body’s having trouble keeping up. I averaged on 1 meal a day for almost 4 days straight, with maybe one or two small snacks in between. I’m going to try a couple of things that help reduce nausea to see if my body gets to recover.

In the meantime I’m totally craving an oven grilled cheese (one slice of bread, buttered, topped with cheese, pepper, salt and parsley, no bread on top) with an over easy on top. The oven’s hot, I’m about to go shove that cheesed bread in there and then make the eggs. I’ve no idea what’s going to happen to my stomach though, it’ll be so greasy.

Only one way to find out, right?

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