Sheer elation

In stark contrast to yesterday’s depressing post, today I feel nothing but giddy and excited with a touch of emotional bursting. He finally had a chance to email me. His first words were “Baby I’m so tired“. My stomach kind of flipped over and my heart melted on the spot.

They’ve been doing unarmed and baton self-defense training for the past couple of days and today he’s getting pepper sprayed. That was unsettling to read, but in his follow up email he explained it’s part of the training. Which makes perfect sense: it’s so they know what it’s like first-hand so they don’t use it unnecessarily. They may end up getting sprayed but still have to perform adequately. Doesn’t mean I’m very thrilled to imagine my poor baby getting pepper sprayed. (It was bad enough that one time I accidentally rubbed my eyes after handling hot peppers!)

He ended his second email with a confession that made me bawl all over again. The day when they left, he spent the last 10 minutes texting me to say goodbye. While I confessed I was a bawling mess and wished he didn’t have to go, he insisted on being reassuring and loving with every message so that I wouldn’t feel so bad. Apparently he was really struggling himself.

Also I never told you, but I got choked up after the last time we talked. ‘Cause I love you so much.

Please excuse me while I go bawl some more. (This time they’re happy tears though.)

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