Isn’t this a shit storm?

I’m so beyond exhausted and depressed. The whole process of starting up trajectories for disability, social work, debt counseling, getting someone to take over all my finances and charting how much I owe everywhere feels like being bulldozed into the ground every single day. The only reason I’m still doing it is because the choice has been taken out of my hands and I’m not doing this alone. If I was, I’d probably have crawled into a hole again and hidden from the world. Hopefully within the next 4-6 weeks my disability will be paid to me again so I can afford to live and work off that. One step at a time.

A debt collector came by last week and took possession of over half my furniture. Their intention is apparently to sell, but I’m mind boggled as to how they’re going to try and justify all the expenses with stuff that’s not even worth €300 when combined. Half of it is severely worn down and damaged by my cats (does anyone really want to pay money for 4 red chairs of which 2 are partially broken and all of them are scratched to the point where stuffing is falling out?) and the rest is just… old. Everything I own is second, third or even fourth hand. My microwave’s display is broken.

The debt I owe to this company is 1.2K. The debt collector racked that up with another 1.3K (totalling 2.5K) by going through the process of claiming my possessions, making a list and putting out ads to sell it all. They won’t even make back the money to put out ads if they do manage to sell it all.

The bastards didn’t even have the audacity to write down my dryer. Damn thing is broken and useless and I’ll happily get rid of it, but out of all the things I own that’s the ONE thing they didn’t write down. Ugh.

To top everything off, I miss my boyfriend terribly and don’t know what to do with myself half the time, and my cat’s health is going up and down so much I’m not certain how long I can put off a vet visit. I’ve managed to collect €90 for the vet bill, but I don’t want to go in until I have at least €150 to cover all possibilities. And then I still need about another €150 for any follow up treatments, as experience has proven that I can’t allow too much time to pass between the vet visits due to everything starting up all over again. If you have a couple of spare bucks lying around to help my cat get better, please check out my fundraiser.

Honestly, I’m amazed I haven’t had a massive breakdown yet. Thank god for knitting and gaming.


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