To be a real man

“A real man never hits a woman.”

It’s a statement that I’m no longer comfortable with. It’s often followed by an explanation on how a man should protect a woman. That it’s a man’s duty to watch out for all women out there. Doesn’t that strike you as outdated?

I don’t think anyone should hit anyone. I’m not sure why gender is even an issue in this. It’s wrong for a man to hit a woman, but it’s also wrong for a woman to hit a man. I understand that the purpose of this statement is to stop violence against women from people who are emotionally or physically stronger and/or more aggressive than the average woman. The question is, has it created more harm than good?

When a man is taught from early age to not hit a woman and he adopts this belief religiously, it makes him more vulnerable and likely to become a victim of violence from women. After all, society condones violence from women to men. If a woman is seen beating a man in public, nobody bats an eye. It’s even more likely that onlookers will cheer the woman on for beating a man! Yet if a man starts to display a smidgen of violence towards a woman, onlookers immediately rush towards the woman’s defense and the man is made out to be all sorts of nasty things, perhaps even arrested and charged with assault. Does it really sound fair to you?

Don’t believe me? Take a look through YouTube, there are plenty of videos from hidden cameras that show these exact scenarios. It’s depressing to realize what people have turned feminism into. For so many it has become a tool to promote misandry rather than gender equality, and this subject only feeds right into that.

When we teach men not to hit women, all we do is open a door for women to do as they please without repercussion. In most cases of domestic violence from a woman to a man, the man was taught to never hit a woman. The man will likely be ridiculed for trying to press charges and not be taken seriously. If the man chooses to defend himself from physical violence from a woman, he is the one who will go to jail for hitting a woman. How can anyone think this is okay? We’ve reached a point where we give women free passes to do whatever because they are the ‘fragile sex’ and men are defaulted to take the blame just for being men.

That’s why I think “A real man never hits a woman” is wrong. There are no ‘real’ men nor ‘real’ women. There are just people, all of whom are so very capable of violence against other people, regardless of gender. It is not a man’s duty to look out for women, it’s all our duty to look out for everyone. We should defend a man being beaten as we should defend a woman being beaten.

I don’t care whether women are physically less inclined to be as strong as men. I don’t care about the genetics and laws of physics and the science between sexes. There are enough men and women who are equals in physical strength and capabilities, whether that is on the weak or strong spectrum. There are enough women who can take down a man twice their size through smarts and experience. There are enough men who couldn’t dent a sack of flour if they tried. Gender is pretty irrelevant in this day and age.

Stop focusing on gender and start focusing on people, please. If someone puts their hands on my boyfriend, you can bet your ass this 6’1″ amazon will step in and punch out their lights if there’s no other way out. If someone puts their hand on me, you can bet your ass my boyfriend won’t stand by idly. We look out for each other because we are equals, and we don’t care about being ‘a real man’ or ‘a real woman’. We’re people who don’t condone violence but will apply it if absolutely necessary to protect others.

That’s ALL that should matter.


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