I’ve been running into this topic a lot today, and I’m feeling frustrated for a lot of different reasons. I apologize if I come off as offensive or seem uncaring towards the struggle people go through, but I hope my frustrations are understandable too.
Before I write anything else I want to clarify two things. One, I am pansexual so I know what it’s like to go through figuring out your sexuality and dealing with your environment when you come out. Two, I am supportive of the LGBT community and wish only the best for those who are part of it.
That doesn’t take away I am incredibly frustrated with the community and a whole bunch of aspects about it. There are a lot of things that ruffle my feathers (the Tumblr SJWs are one of those things) but I’m focusing on sexuality labels today.
Sexuality isn’t a label to make yourself more special than others. It’s not a title, it’s not a complex thing. You are what you are, and it’s really unnecessary to complicate it by making up new names for what already has a name. It’s becoming increasingly more common for people to claim they change sexuality in certain circumstances, and I can’t even put in words how much this angers and frustrates me. Your sexuality is what it is. You are not one day heterosexual and become gay the next day, just to go back to being heterosexual by the end of the week. If you insist on explaining your sexuality like this then you are a moron, and I’m not sorry for calling you that.
If you are attracted to both binary genders, even if you have circumstances wherein your preferences change, you are and always will be bisexual. There’s no straight, there’s no gay, just bisexuality with a (fluid) preference. Please stop complicating the issue by making up a new name or having a complex story to explain this. I know fully well what it’s like to have a fluid preference myself and I’m tired of this stupid game people play.
I could easily claim that I am straight most of the time. My main preference usually goes out to men for a number of reasons. One is that I enjoy sex with men quite a bit, another is that I seem to typically mesh better, personality wise, with men. In most cases I just get the most attention and interest from men, which makes that the largest group for potential lovers/relationships and it just seems natural that they’re just my main group to pick from. But I am not straight, despite being in a committed relationship with a man. I am and always will be pansexual, because there are days where I can’t help but find women incredibly sexually appealing. I have times where I find myself really interested in transgenders and cross dressers. I have times where I’m particularly interested in intersex people.
This is what most people will probably call sexuality fluidity, and that’s fine. There’s really nothing wrong with having preferences that shift and change. But I do not, and never will, agree to calling myself anything but pansexual regardless of how I feel that day. It does not in any way make sense to say I’m feeling heterosexual today because I am not heterosexual. This seems to be a difficult concept to grasp for a lot of people, surprisingly! The only thing that makes sense is to say “I’m really turned on by men today”.
I get the feeling that a lot of these claims have less to do with someone’s genuine feelings, and more to do with wanting to be a special snowflake. We reached a point in society where homosexuality and bisexuality is becoming increasingly common. Gay marriage is slowly being legalized more and more around the globe, it’s slowly becoming less special, and that’s probably the issue. Where being non-heterosexual was once a big deal and made you special, now it’s not so much. It’s becoming plain, common, everyday. I’m guessing that’s why people put so much effort into giving themselves new labels and making such a big fuss about standing out with this stuff.
I wouldn’t have such a problem with it if it didn’t make people like myself look like such a joke. People stop taking it seriously when you happily exclaim you’re feeling quite heterosexual today, but you’re probably going to be a total lesbian tomorrow. Eventually people get tired of this nonsense because they understand that sexuality doesn’t really work like that, and then people like myself are grouped together with this nonsense.
Being pansexual is suddenly being questioned because “If you’re pansexual, how come you’re with a man? How come you’ve not had sex with a transgender/drag queen?”. And that’s annoying and frustrating. I’m suddenly being called a heterosexual because that’s what other people do and it’s demeaning and hurtful to have my sexuality dismissed because other people are being dumbasses about it and making something that’s actually very simple very complex. Please stop doing this.