Afternoon Muse

A lot has been happening, both good and bad.

The bad:

  • I’ve been incredibly anxious again since my last post in February with frequent panic attacks out of nowhere
  • I’m in trouble with my overdue rent
  • I fear I’m starting to binge-eat due to stress (something I’ve never done before, I used to starve myself when I was stressed)
  • My back surgery fund is basically empty compared to what I need to collect, so it may literally be years before I can get this done. I’m really scared
  • My disability check has been confiscated, meaning that every penny above a certain minim requirement amount is taken by debt collectors (the rest is still mine, but it’s not a lot of money at all)
  • I’ve barely been able to talk to my boyfriend because my sleep schedule doesn’t match his hours and I basically pass out at my desk if I’m not in bed

The good:

  • My boyfriend is back home in San Diego! It’s so good to hear his voice and see his face again after 8 months of deployment
  • My therapy has finally taken off and I’ll likely be put on a small dose of antidepressants to take the edge off my intense moods
  • I got my mail last week so I got a fresh start on my mailbox
  • I’m finally participating in the social activation program again and feel useful as IT support for the location
  • My birthday is in 1.5 weeks
  • I asked my parents for a bicycle so I can exercise without impacting my back
  • I asked my sister for a crockpot so I can cook healthy meals without needing to slave away at the stove and burden my back
  • I asked my boyfriend for corsets because I’ve wanted some for ages and they’re good for my back (which arrived last Friday)

I’m sorry for the list format, but this is much easier to write down than writing a whole novel. I’m taking pictures of the corsets soon (I’m wearing it upside down in the pictures I took, oops…) to show you! For the time being however, these are the store pictures.

Because I’m a plus size they look a bit different on me, but I am extremely happy with them. I’ll have more to write about in my next post when I can wear them for you though. 🙂


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