Good Feels

Life has been going fast lately and I feel a little blown away by… Well, everything. Good or bad? Definitely some of both!

For starters, I’m having a moderately good grip on my blood sugar levels. They crash pretty quickly when I do some moderate exercise, but I still have weird and unexplained peaks every now and then. (That might be my pancreas struggling.) Overall though, I noticed my own tests’ averages have gone down from 9.5 to 7.5 (mmol/l) which includes fasting values and peak meal values. Not too shabby!

I still have bad days where my mental state just breaks down and I get stuck in my downward spirals. Unexpected events still do a big number on me and that sucks. Doing too many things (even just shopping) tires me out so badly I’m down for a couple of days afterwards.

The good news is I’m able to focus on positive tasks again! I had a meeting with my friend/client to discuss the future of my VA job with her and we struck a compromise. I got the equivalent of a promotion with the condition that I can take sick days when needed as long as I properly communicate this to her. She has other assistants for backup in case I get overwhelmed so I can still do my tasks and have the other assistants pick up the overflow. The great thing about this is that the small projects that come in become my projects so that she can focus on the ever growing number of large projects that focus more on programming. She’ll take care of all the client communication to avoid the stress of dealing with clients (the main reason I only want to work with professional freelancers are the regular clients).

All of this is pretty damn exciting! She never really put pressure on me in the past, but I did feel pressured by seeing ‘no way out’ when I had too much on my plate and I felt horrible putting a dent in her project progress, which became a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy as it stressed me out. I dropped projects and hid in a corner feeling ashamed and inadequate. There’s a noticeable difference in my coping ability now that I know there are people in the background who’ll pick up what I can’t do so that the projects don’t end up jeopardized. I’m breezing through the tasks she has for me and it feels awesome.

I feel so incredibly lucky and fuzzy that she stuck with me through thick and thin and works with me to make everything work out. Anyone else would have found this to be bothersome and dropped me (like all of my previous employers) but she likes my work so much it was evidently worth it to find a balance. I’m so thrilled I can help her and help myself at the same time!

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