I don’t need no (wo)man.

It’s no news that my downstairs neighbors are the equivalent of sexist backwater rednecks. The men in their family regard women as tools, as property, and they think their very existence is a gift to women on earth. Yes, you can go barf now, I’ll wait.

My neighbor tries very hard to convince me that he 1) never beats women and 2) never cheats on women. He tries really damn hard in fact, which just confirms the suspicions and rumors I’ve heard regarding the things he’s done (such as beating his ex-wife and losing custody over his first child). A closet domestic abuser in denial? Wouldn’t surprise me.

With summer rolling around and my wardrobe replenished for the first time in many years, I’m finally confident in myself and wear things like short dresses and short skirts, tops with bared shoulders and so forth. I feel good and comfortable and I like what I see in the mirror. Apparently so do my neighbors, and they think I’m doing it for them.

Yeah, you can barf again, I know I did.

The idea that a woman may just dress up like that for convenience or just to please herself without needing any man’s approval goes beyond them. They don’t understand it. Why would I bother dressing like this if I wasn’t out to get attention? The fact it’s going to be 100F here soon (in a country that averages between 77F-86F no less) apparently has nothing to do with it. I get frequently told that there’s money laying on the ground and I should ‘go pick it up’, just so they can see me bend over. There are frequent jokes about sex that really aren’t jokes but poor attempts to hit on me because now that I’ve lost weight, it’s quite apparent they find me attractive. I’m 99% convinced that if I offered to have sex with any of them, they’d take me up on that offer instantly.

However, the best thing yet is their disbelief that I don’t need a man to be sexually satisfied. I get asked often “When is your boyfriend coming to visit you?” and “How can you stand not having sex for so long? I couldn’t do that!”.

Well, congrats then. I’m not ashamed of saying I have an arsenal of adult toys that I know how to use. I’m very comfortable with my body and know how it works just fine. There’s nothing new anyone can show me about it. My physical urges are satisfied as well as they could be and I’m not left wanting physical sex at all. The only thing I crave is the emotional connection and intimacy of being with my SO, something these people couldn’t ever hope to offer me. They just can’t wrap their heads around this concept. Every time I mention anything along these lines they look at me as if I’ve grown two additional heads and spew fire! How is it possible I don’t crave (their) dicks? HOW CAN I SURVIVE WITHOUT A MAN?

A lot of this is incredibly annoying and I think many of you will see this as sexual harassment. I’m grateful that it doesn’t really affect me beyond being annoying and I choose instead to pity them for being this dumb. If I didn’t need my neighbors on my side for an upcoming lawsuit, I wouldn’t put up with it so we’d stay ‘friends’. I wouldn’t let my neighbor touch me without getting a fist in the face for it. For now I just grit my teeth until this lawsuit is done and over with and hope that I don’t have to live with them anymore.

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