Months it has taken for my life to go on a regular sleeping-and-eating schedule. Months I forced myself out of bed early and went to bed on time because I was tired. I tried so hard to take rest moments during the day, as my therapist encouraged me to, to avoid napping in the evening so I couldn’t sleep.
For no good reason, it’s 5:30am right now and I have yet to sleep. I’m furious and discouraged and I’m irritated by every little thing. I’m on my period and the weather is a bucket of fuck with heat and humidity high all over. I’ve been in bed four times now, and every time I kick my bed and scream into my pillow after restlessly trying for hours to drift to a peaceful sleep. It’s not happening. Fuck.