Whoo boy, today was a ridiculously stressful day for me. I woke up feeling anxious as all hell and wanting to not go out because of what I had to do. But I did it!
This morning I set out to my doctor’s office and was shown how to use the insulin pen. At first I got to practice on a little box with a ‘skin’ on top that emulates what it feels like to insert the needle. The pen is filled with water, not real insulin, for practicing purposes. That went well. Then I got to put on a new clean needle and insert it without injecting anything. It was as good as painless to my surprise! We talked a little more and then I was on my way to group. (To be clear, I did not do my injection at that point yet.)
I spent the better part of the afternoon there. After lunch my glucose levels were definitely in the okay range, likely thanks to the ridiculous heat we’re experiencing right now. Being stuck in a heat weave seems to be the only thing keeping my values down, geeshe. (I guess that’s kind of a good thing when your GL is consistently too high though!) I left to go home without snacking (good going, me) and was heading towards a hypo once I’d come home from my cycling adventure.
Had a snack to bump my GL back up, ordered dinner (Greek food whoop!) and I waited for 8pm to draw near. That’s the time I’ve decided to do my daily basal injections. Deep breaths. I was in full on adrenaline rush mode by the time that time hit. My heart raced, my hands felt unsteady, I was dizzy. I mean, it might be the heat, but that feeling in my stomach is definitely a sign of being too nervous.
I prepped the insulin pen like I’d done earlier that day. I remembered the instructions. I set the dose. I squirted 3 units out of the needle to ensure the pen was functioning. I inserted the needle and immediately felt a burn that I didn’t feel this morning. Oh, right, I just squirted some insulin out of this needle so that’s probably why it’s already stinging. Okay, so far so good. Once in it didn’t hurt. I adjusted my grip on the pen four times before very slowly pushing down the button to inject the insulin.
There was some very mild burning and stinging, but nothing I can describe as pain. Kind of like putting some icy hot on my tummy, you know? I held down the button and counted to 10. Toujeo lets you count to 5, but I want to be double sure that I’m doing this right. Then I started pulling out the needle without releasing the button, stopped halfway, released and pulled it out all the way.
That was it. I was shaking so badly from the ridiculous tension I’d built up for myself over what turned out to be a minor inconvenience at best. It wasn’t painful. Yes, I felt it, but it’s nothing compared to the back pain I endure every day. Once my adrenaline had crashed I got incredibly dizzy and short of breath. Great that Toujeo’s allergic reactions are at least 50% consistent with panic attack symptoms! I was Skyping with a friend who helped me feel calmer about it because it was very obviously just my anxiety kicking me in the balls, ugh. I’ve been tense for a week now and having panic attacks, is it any wonder I’m feeling like crap after riding an adrenaline high for two hours?
I checked my glucose levels again, 2 hours after dinner: 5.3 mmol/L. Okay, that’s pretty low but nothing that I can’t explain: my greek food was greasy, I know this delays carb absorption. And I definitely did not have too few carbs. I went to do my thing, melting in the heat inside my apartment; the building retains heat very well and we need some rain to help it cool off. An hour later I test again and I’m going upwards to 6.6 mmol/L. Good! It’s climbing, that’s great.
As it’s a basal injection once a day, I don’t have to worry too much. Toujeo is designed to reduce a hypo after injection. I’m going to have a snack before bed just to be sure, but I’m noting down two curve days for my doctor sometime these coming 7 days. I’m very tired, but proud I overcame my panic attack and did it. I’m proud that I’ve started a journey to a better health and a better life!
Bonus: my doctor also had this ADORABLE pen case for my insulin. My glucometer also looks like a 2000’s MP3 player lol.