I seem to be stuck in blabbermouth mode the past week or two. I’m incredibly vocal, engaged and talking almost non-stop about everything and nothing. I’ve been commenting 300% more on blog posts than I have in months, and you know what? I kinda dig it. It takes up a lot of energy so I’m being very careful not to expend energy on things I don’t have the energy reserves for, because the last thing I want is social blog burnout.
So what I want to talk about today is the matter of ‘sinning’. Not in a religious fashion as I’m not religious and don’t believe in that kind of sin, but primarily the food kind of sinning.
Stay with me, I will drift off topic here a little but I promise I’ll get there. I’ve had the very pleasant experience of having extremely light periods for the past year or so thanks to my chosen method of birth control, the arm implant. The last time I bought any feminine hygiene products was almost 8 or 9 months ago, but today I ran out. I’m very particular about my products and my preferred brand is from a drugstore just across the border in Germany.
As I often do, I checked my bike tires, pumped some air into them and hopped on the saddle for a nice bike ride into Germany to the drugstore! I got everything I needed, I felt fine and had no signs of a hypo, so I wasn’t worried about the ride back. (By the time I could be showing any symptoms I’d be home already.) It was lunch time and I knew I’d have to eat once I got back. There happens to be a McDonalds straight across from the drugstore, so I went over and ordered a chili chicken burger and a small diet coke. I figured that would be a little more carbs than I should have, but still totally acceptable.
Unfortunately it rang up at just a little over €3, I had no cash on me and only my debit card, and they don’t let you pay by debit on amounts under €5. Damnit. I ended up upgrading my coke to a medium and taking another burger to bump the total up just over the minimum amount.
Here is where the sin part comes in: this meal ended up being well over twice the amount of carbs and calories I should have in a meal. I also biked my big ass off to get there and get back home, which was 40 minutes of exercise right there. My glucose value was at 6.0 before my meal. Could I have made the choice to cancel the order and eat something at home? Sure! I could also have saved the second burger for later (however unappetizing it may end up being). But I didn’t. I made the choice to treat myself and enjoy every single bite of both burgers when I got home, and I didn’t feel bad about it one bit.
Life is too short to be perfectly in control all the time. I like food a lot, and on most days I am excellent at being responsible about what I eat, exercising despite my physical disabilities, and I’m meticulous about my diabetes and the numbers. What good is a long, healthy life when I can’t have a second burger just because, every now and then? I hadn’t had a fast food burger since I moved in Feb/March, one extra burger in half a year won’t kill me.
It’s easy to fall into the “you’re never allowed to have ___ ever” trap. It’s easy to feel guilt about ‘sinning’. Maybe it’s time we cut ourselves some slack and stop regarding these kind of things as sins, and start seeing them as human and alright. It’s not like we’re shoveling fifteen burgers and five extra large sugary cokes down our throats every single day. (Obviously, everyone is different and your health is the most important – if something affects you very negatively then please do continue to be responsible about treating yourself. My message is simply not to cling too tightly if there’s a possibility to be relaxed about it without damaging your health!)
I’ve really enjoyed writing about these topics and I’m hopeful they’re having positive effects on people. 🙂 I’ve been doing my best not to let my health, finances and mental state get the best of me, to stay optimistic and well. All of you followers who interact with me by reading, liking and commenting on my posts are wonderful people with warm hearts and kind souls. Just knowing you’re out there and listening makes me feel tremendously warm and fulfilled.
I also want to take this opportunity to let you know about some updates on the blog! I recently updated my “Who Am I?” page with some additional information on my diabetes, which some of you may have already seen. I’m still working on planning and recording my Podcasts, so if you have questions or topic suggestions, you can always email me suggestions at firstname.lastname@example.org. I also updated a button in my widget to stay up to date with Ko-fi.
These donations are exclusively used for groceries (I am on disability with a fixed income, which can strain my small budget) and to fund the materials and shipping costs of Knitted Knockers to people in need worldwide. 🙂
I will spend the rest of my day knitting my Ten Stitch Blanket because the weather has turned dreadful over the past 2 hours, and I will let you know what my doctor has to say about my daycurves tomorrow!