Keep on swimming


Between Fallout 4 and laying down to rest my back, the second sleeve is coming along quite slowly compared to the first one. Nevertheless, I’m past halfway and hope to have the sleeve finished by the end of Sunday and the neck done by Monday night! Then I’m showing it off at group on Tuesday and starting the socks for my family. I could start them now but that means I would finish them in time. Who would do such madness? Freaking out over deadlines for the holidays is what it’s all about, right?

I also went swimming Friday morning with some people from my group. It relieved a lot of pressure off my back, and although I couldn’t swim a whole lane without stopping 3-4 times cause of pain in my legs, I did swim about 7-8 full lanes. Not bad for a semi-disabled person huh? I took it at my own pace, listening to my body and that worked out well. I’m going again next Friday morning. I’m considering going regularly every month through the next year as it’s a great way to exercise without straining my back. I’m a little hesitant in terms of going by myself, but maybe I can rope someone else into going with me if the weekly group swimming stops.

Either way, I’m not doing too badly, I’m proud of my sweater so far and eager to finish. I wish I could play Fallout in longer sessions but my body demands the rest. Ergh.



I’m starting to feel the effects of constant, lingering and nagging pain again. I made a wrong move two days ago. The pain shot through my back into my legs and my whole body was locked in a muscle spasm because my body didn’t know what to do with the excess pain stimulation on my spinal nerves. I managed to twist just enough to have the pain dissipate at the time, but I knew the damage was done. I feared that after a rest in bed I would be bed bound again, even if at the time I was still able to move.

I doubled my pain meds and soldiered through the evening. Yesterday I went to group and even went grocery shopping with one of the counselors for the Bento workshop I’m holding on Thursday. As long as I’m mobile the pain lessens, the more I sit or stand the worse it gets. That means I’ve slowed down on knitting drastically this week. 😦


The sleeve is coming along quite well. This picture is from 2 days ago. I got really close to finishing the sleeve last night when I realized I decreased wrong and messed up the shaping of the wrist. I had to rip out almost 4 inches but as it’s only stockinette it really doesn’t matter much. I hope to finish it today and start on the right sleeve. 🙂 Although the body of the sweater doesn’t fit me (my boyfriend is skinnier than I am) the arm does and we have the same length, so I can ‘try it on’ and go from there.

I’m very impressed with the pattern so far, considering it really isn’t a pattern of itself but just an instruction on how to construct any raglan top-down sweater. I’m noticing how far I’ve come skills-wise too. It’s very exciting!

Now for some gamer excitement: I got my Fallout 4 Pip-Boy CE!

I am VERY excited to start playing! My internet was crapping out yesterday, meaning I had to let the download run overnight to install the game. I have a meeting shortly and since I know I’ll be sucked right into the game until it’s time for bed I’m holding off on starting now. It’ssohardtowaitthough! I’m going to have to evict my phone from its case and figure out how to shove it into the Pip-Boy but it’s going to be so worth it.

Are you excited? I’m excited!

RP Repository’s Anniversary

April 24th 2015 is more Epic than ever. The Roleplay Repository is celebrating its fifth anniversary!!

RPR is a site for everyone who enjoys to roleplay, or just needs a repository for character profiles, or just wants to hang out with tons of amazing people. It’s heralded as one of the friendliest and welcoming communities on the internet and it’s no wonder that everyone feels at home right off the bat.

The site is run by the most wonderful Kim, aided by her fantastic moderators who are there in everyone’s time of need. I have a lot of geeky friends who may not be a member yet. Why don’t you come check us out while we celebrate for a whole week, and perhaps you want to stick around? 🙂

Shedding some light on dying

For years I’ve been an avid fan of first person zombie shooters. Among my favorites are Left 4 Dead and Dead Island. I do enjoy other genres – Mirror’s Edge is an amazing FP parkour game that I replay countless times (even though I’m terrified of heights, even virtual ones!).

Needless to say I was absolutely ecstatic when a message popped up in Steam telling me my boyfriend gifted me a copy of Dying Light. This game is stunning and incredibly fun, like an amazing mixture between all the aforementioned games. Not only does it combine parkour with combat and crafting, it adds a new element of danger at night. Special zombies who only emerge in the dark and are vicious, ruthless hunters unlike the sluggish undead by day.

I’m usually not very frightened by games, even horror ones, but my blood gets pumping when I have to run missions at night!

There are definitely some bugs that still need addressing here and there, but I have to say I’m super pleased with this game as it is right now. It’s the first game that truly shows my rig’s age though – at an average of 22 FPS I have to admit that I’m going to have to upgrade my video card again in the future. If my motherboard wasn’t so close to dying that’s all I’d need though.

Mr Zombie was in a safe area where he wasn't supposed to be. When I confronted him and took his picture as evidence for the zombie police, he had the audacity to try and shield his face! That dirty trick won't work, Mr Zombie. You're busted!

Mr Zombie was in a safe area where he wasn’t supposed to be. When I confronted him and took his picture as evidence for the zombie police, he had the audacity to try and shield his face!
That dirty trick won’t work, Mr Zombie. You’re busted!

I’ve had tons of fun playing with my boyfriend and I’m looking forward to making it to the finale of the game.

Isn’t this a shit storm?

I’m so beyond exhausted and depressed. The whole process of starting up trajectories for disability, social work, debt counseling, getting someone to take over all my finances and charting how much I owe everywhere feels like being bulldozed into the ground every single day. The only reason I’m still doing it is because the choice has been taken out of my hands and I’m not doing this alone. If I was, I’d probably have crawled into a hole again and hidden from the world. Hopefully within the next 4-6 weeks my disability will be paid to me again so I can afford to live and work off that. One step at a time.

A debt collector came by last week and took possession of over half my furniture. Their intention is apparently to sell, but I’m mind boggled as to how they’re going to try and justify all the expenses with stuff that’s not even worth €300 when combined. Half of it is severely worn down and damaged by my cats (does anyone really want to pay money for 4 red chairs of which 2 are partially broken and all of them are scratched to the point where stuffing is falling out?) and the rest is just… old. Everything I own is second, third or even fourth hand. My microwave’s display is broken.

The debt I owe to this company is 1.2K. The debt collector racked that up with another 1.3K (totalling 2.5K) by going through the process of claiming my possessions, making a list and putting out ads to sell it all. They won’t even make back the money to put out ads if they do manage to sell it all.

The bastards didn’t even have the audacity to write down my dryer. Damn thing is broken and useless and I’ll happily get rid of it, but out of all the things I own that’s the ONE thing they didn’t write down. Ugh.

To top everything off, I miss my boyfriend terribly and don’t know what to do with myself half the time, and my cat’s health is going up and down so much I’m not certain how long I can put off a vet visit. I’ve managed to collect €90 for the vet bill, but I don’t want to go in until I have at least €150 to cover all possibilities. And then I still need about another €150 for any follow up treatments, as experience has proven that I can’t allow too much time to pass between the vet visits due to everything starting up all over again. If you have a couple of spare bucks lying around to help my cat get better, please check out my fundraiser.

Honestly, I’m amazed I haven’t had a massive breakdown yet. Thank god for knitting and gaming.