Wew, been a bit of a
busy lazy weekend. With boyfriend on duty on Saturday, having no phone yet because he lost his and is awaiting replacement, I’ve spent a lot of time talking with my friend and playing Pokemon with him.
Yes, I’m an adult woman and I still play this game I played in my childhood – I know most of my generation have no problem with this at all!
My friend also says he’s buying me a 3DS with the new Pokemon Y game, but I’m still skeptical about it. It’s an expensive gift, and I usually don’t get expensive gifts.
I also got a haircut today. My best friend is a hairdresser by profession so when I need my hair done, she’s the person I go to. Unfortunately today has also been a bit tense between us, and I’m not 100% sure what happened.
My best guess is she feels like I don’t trust her words or judgement when it comes to certain issues because she makes statements that are entirely unfamiliar to me, or sound outdated or like they don’t apply to the situation at hand. Whenever I debate my viewpoint back to her, she gets visibly annoyed as if what I’m saying is 100% wrong. Always.
For example, I have psoriasis and this means I shower daily so that I won’t start itching like crazy. If I miss a day of showering, my skin flakes like no tomorrow, particularly on my scalp and on my upper arms. When I have bad episodes, also in my face.She’s of the opinion that showering too often like that is just going to make it worse, and I feel like she’s very pushy in trying to convince me that the information I got from my doctor and little sister (who works with people who suffer from psoriasis as well) is inaccurate. I shouldn’t accept that I have to shower daily and instead pursue my condition with a dermatologist to get it treated.
She has a perfume allergy and her son has a certain type of severe eczema where frequent showers are not a good thing. I feel like she’s comparing my (mild) case too much with her own severe cases in herself and her son. I also don’t understand why she cannot accept the fact that I’m not bothered by it as long as I shower daily, and that I’m doing fine, and why I absolutely have to agree with her. I have no real desire to spend my time at a dermatologist’s, because it just doesn’t affect me much.
I know that as a hair dresser, she comes across all sorts of skin conditions and has knowledge on it from her education. But as much as I want to trust her words 100% all of the time, she also frequently says things that are wrong because she mixes things up or because it’s information from 10 years ago that no longer applies. She told me that there is a dry form of psoriasis and a greasy form, which… I have never heard of and can find no information on. I didn’t ask her to specify what psoriasis actually is, because I feel she would have felt more insulted, but there’s really only one definition: red, itchy patches on the skin that have scale-like flaking because a layer of skin persistently renews too fast in that area. There are different locations and behavior for each location on the body, but there is no ‘greasy’ form of it for as I know.
She also continued to say that the information found on the internet is unreliable and insists that a doctor or dermatologist is the only solution to everything health related. I also know that she’s really not well versed using a computer, much less the internet, and that I work(ed) as a virtual assistant who has to collect and filter data and research things constantly. I went to college to learn how to Google effectively to solve any kind of problem. I didn’t tell her I disagreed with her statement, because that would have only provoked her further into a rant. I know how to filter information on health issues and when to seek counseling from a health care professional, and I felt mildly insulted that she assumed I blindly accept everything that’s posted on the web.
I’m also baffled by how she didn’t let go of the issue. When I was talking about how frizzy my hair has gotten due to split ends, her instant reply hinted at the fact I shower too often and don’t give my hair the moisture it needs, and that’s why it’s frizzy. I thought we’d dropped the issue by then.
I love that lady to death, she taught me how to knit, is always there for me and so much more, but I have a hard time dealing with her when she is in this kind of mood. I’m not saying she’s stupid and doesn’t know what she’s talking about, I just know that she gets things mixed up often and that what applies to her life and conditions doesn’t mean it applies to everyone else. If I don’t want to see a dermatologist to get my psoriasis ‘fixed’ (which it can’t be, because there’s no known cure for it and only speculations exist to what exactly causes it) then I don’t want to go see one. But as much as she says she’s just giving me tips, it feels like she won’t be satisfied until I’ve made an appointment with one right on the spot, you know?
Then there was the censorship issue. I feel like she didn’t hear me out at all and just heard what she wanted to hear. We were watching a German dub of the movie Hancock, and I noticed they cut out a huge part of the scene. I wondered why they did that out loud, and we discussed it. I know Germany censors the crap out of everything violent and gory, but I didn’t think that scene they cut out was so bad. It ended up with her telling me how the UK and even the US censors everything.
I tried to tell her I knew that in Germany, blood is usually recolored black or edited out, even on games labeled 16+. I also tried to tell her that for as far as I know, games in the US aren’t censored this way because usually, these games are made in the US and sold the same way we get them in the Netherlands. I think she misunderstood, because she wouldn’t let me finish my sentences and went on a rant about how she met Americans and British kids who couldn’t get their hands on uncensored games. She kept referring to age limits, which confused me because that’s not what I meant – I know games are age restricted. Our games say 16+ and 18+ too, even though kids younger than this can easily get their hands on them. I also know that the age limit may be handled more strictly in other countries. But that is not what I meant.
Again, I got the general sense of “you’re wrong and I’m right because I’m older and I’ve talked to children from different countries when I was a kid”. Which… is again the outdated factor I’m referring to.
This is very frustrating to me. I get cut off by her before I can finish my sentences, but if I try to explain more she just gets upset or offended. So I fall into a state of being quiet and agreeing with her blindly, even though I suspect she’s talking about something else or that things have changed in the past 10 years and she doesn’t realize it.
I know that this is just my side of the story and she may sound terrible to strangers, but please know she’s not. I’m just having a hard time communicating my feelings with her because she seems so easily agitated, and I don’t want to make things worse. I’m just writing here to get it off my chest. I have a feeling she’s just having some emotional stuff going on with the holiday preparations and needs an outlet. She’s been tough on her kid too, so I’m doing my best not take it personally!